Glossary
High-Conflict Communication Terms
Plain-language definitions of the tactics, patterns, and strategies that show up in high-conflict relationships — so you can name what's happening and respond with clarity.
Gaslighting
A sustained pattern of psychological manipulation that causes you to question your own memory, perception, and reality. One of the most disorienting tactics used in high-conflict and narcissistic relationships.
The Grey Rock Method
A communication strategy where you become as uninteresting and unresponsive as possible to discourage a high-conflict person from targeting you. Useful for low-contact situations where full no-contact isn't possible.
DARVO
Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. A defensive tactic where the person being held accountable flips the script — suddenly becoming the victim while you become the aggressor. Common in narcissistic and abusive dynamics.
BIFF
Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm. A structured communication method designed for high-conflict exchanges — especially co-parenting and legal situations — that keeps your responses short, neutral, and impossible to argue with.
Love Bombing
An overwhelming flood of affection, attention, and flattery used to fast-track intimacy and create emotional dependency. Often the opening phase of a narcissistic or abusive relationship cycle.
Narcissistic Abuse
A pattern of emotional, psychological, and sometimes physical harm inflicted by someone with narcissistic traits. Includes gaslighting, love bombing, devaluation, and discard — often cycling repeatedly.
JADE
Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain. The four things you don't need to do when setting a boundary with a high-conflict person. Over-explaining gives them more material to argue with — and you don't need their permission to hold a limit.
Coercive Control
A pattern of behavior that seeks to take away a person's freedom and autonomy — through monitoring, isolation, financial control, threats, and micromanagement. Recognized as a criminal offense in several countries.
About This Glossary
Why naming it matters
High-conflict communication is disorienting by design. When you can't name what's happening, it's harder to trust your own experience — and easier for the other person to keep you off-balance.
These definitions aren't meant to diagnose anyone. They're meant to give you language for patterns you may already recognize — so you can respond with more clarity and less self-doubt.
Plain-language definitions, not clinical jargon
Real-world examples across relationship types
Practical response strategies for each pattern
Cross-linked so you can follow the threads
Composed
Know the pattern. Respond with clarity.
Composed uses AI to detect manipulation tactics in real messages and helps you craft responses that are calm, grounded, and hard to argue with — without second-guessing yourself.
Try Composed FreeNot therapy. Not legal advice. A communication tool built for hard conversations.